Antique: It's where I left my heart

Hi there! Yes, you! The one's reading this post and will probably continue reading till I hit my last word for this post. Oh, thank you!

This is my first post for this year. It entails one of the most historical and unforgettable getaway I had. This happened last year. I can say it was one-of-a-kind experience which I waited for nearly 9 years? Yeah! 9 long years in which I didn't even thought it would happen. Why it seemed so magical for me? Why it's so important? Here it goes.

First off, a month before I landed to this very amazing place a bunch of important people came over and asked me to guide them explore and experience Mindanao particularly, Cagayan de Oro, Bukidnon and Iligan City. These guests are from San Jose, Antique Philippines. Isn't this place familiar to you? Well, this is among the 4 provinces (Iloilo, Capiz, Aklan and Antique) of Panay Island in the West Visayas Region. Too informative huh? LOL. Kidding aside, these people invited me to come and visit their place for the second time around for not so many different reasons I guess. At the back of my mind, it is a great opportunity for me to roam around 'cause I wasn't able to roam that much when I first visited the place, be part of one of the most important events in their lives, be with the youngest to celebrate her birthday and lastly....I'll just keep it to myself! Fair enough? I think so. It's for me to know, for you to find out! Hehe

God and the universe conspire for this much-awaited event. I am just so blessed God never fails me. He knows my heart's desire. November **, 2012 when the eagle has landed in Iloilo International Airport, my 2nd time around. Wooot! ♥ Few hours after, me and my dear seisei went to Aklan to sleepover my dear's friend. It was heartwarming, overwhelming and my everything. It was a good pause to prepare for my moment, to be in Antique again.

No more than 24 hours of stay in Aklan, we head back to Iloilo to fetch a friend and then finally go to Antique. As I was in the van, my heart couldn't stop from beating as it goes faster and faster then suddenly it stops. All I can hear is silence. My tummy's rumbling as if there are a lot inside of it. I couldn't understand or even decide where to place my head to sleep better or just stay awake till we get there. And then after a 2-hour-travel, we arrived at our destination. This is it! Oh no! Oh yes? Haha

I thought I'm gonna experience the moment I've been wanting to happen that same day or should I say that night as we arrived past 6pm. God is so good! He works in ways we never know. He knew I wasn't ready and prepared for that thing. So, the day after is the start of my most unforgettable days ever! Hahaha

Early morning, as I grabbed my phone and looked what time is it for I heard voices from outside and at the same time I panicked for I was still lying there in bed. Wattashame, ayt? So I stood up and fixed the bed. I couldn't believe he's just few meters away and even when I could barely hear his voice, I can still recognize his voice though it's been ages since the last time I heard it. I knew it! This is the day am gonna meet him finally, for the first time. I didn't prepare that much for I wasn't there to meet him in the first place, it ain't righteous also.

Table was set, breakfast is ready and coffee's awaiting to be served and sipped. It's gonna be a hard and tough day huh? Oh well, to be honest I was trying to conceal what I really feel. I didn't know it will gonna go smoothly but it was fine though. All I remember is that I was just being myself. When I sat on the chair and get some food he arrived and suddenly sat on the chair, too. It was very A-W-K-W-A-R-D! Really.

My dearest seisei introduced me to him, of course to be formal and because she just wanna let him meet her friends whom she invited me to come over. In response, I lift my head, looked at him and smiled. The moment I saw him face to face was so awesome, yeah! That was the first time ever. And we continued to eat silently. Breakfast's over, transferred to the living room and had casual and very awkward conversations (Oh! no, not just the two of us). Glad we handled it well. It was the start of something I wanted. One of the reasons I went there is to end things up (on my side) and move over, seriously.

Days have passed, talks and moments accumulate and gestures have different interpretations in which we didn't give a damn (for it is the right thing to do or maybe I'm just the only one who thinks too much), made me to move over/end things on my side harder. I was enjoying every moment there. It was very awesome, the best of the best but decision's final though.

Up to this moment, I am trying to instill in my heart and in my mind that things should end and move over. I missed us or maybe it's just the memories I missed, those moments and dreams we shared and not the person anymore. It ain't easy. Am trying my best to start a new life again knowing I will be whole again (I think) for I am recovering now and picking my heart where I left. It's so hard to give something or share when you know you don't have enough. I hope, with God's help I can have my whole heart again and get it from the place where I left my heart, totally.

Thank you so much for reading my post. I hope to post more, soon.


*these people are private and I would like to keep it that way.